Going to a Halloween party but don’t have a costume yet? Don’t worry, The Social Ms have you covered!
This year, just go as a Social Media Marketer. Why? Easy: Social Media Marketers don’t just scare people, in certain target audiences they cause panic. Especially business owners who feel a sudden desire to hide their wallets once they see you. Also, sales professionals, who fear for their email lists once a Social Media Marketer enters the room.
Going as a Social Media Marketer is also easy as pie. You don’t need to do anything. Basically you are going for the look of a porn actor (not a porn star, just an actor – no need to be trained). The kind of porn actor that basically tries to emulate the look of someone else – but always looks just slightly out of place. You might for instance wear a suit, but combine it with trainers. Or wear a suit jacket combined with worn out jeans. You get the idea – look at what you normally wear and then combine it with something that simply doesn’t fit.
The only thing you need to work on for about 5 minutes is your supply of buzzwords. The easiest way to achieve this is to open any Social Media Marketing blog or website and look for words that you don’t understand or that simply seem to be out of context. “Conversion-Rate-Optimization”, CPM, CPA, CPL, CTR, Cross Promotion, SEO-to-Social business conversion, Social Media Launch Process, …
Don’t try to understand these – just learn the words and combine them randomly into sentences – and watch the fear around you increase.
If anyone ever asks you for references, certificates or the likes you simply answer that measuring social media success is impossible. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. By now every potential client of any Social Media Marketer in the world has learned not to argue with that.
If you want to achieve a truly scary Halloween costume this year – go as a Social Media Marketer. It’s so scary you might end up scaring everyone away from the party. Oh, and if you are used to paying for Halloween costumes – here is a ready made costume for you that requires even less thought.